Wishes In The Snow
by EyesofNight
Summary: Ginny expresses her hopes, wishes, and dreams about brothers, snow and rain, friends, and growing up.


A/N: Hello, everyone! This is my first completed fanfiction so please be gentle...but constructive! Thanks, this means a lot to me and everyone who reviews can feel good about themselves and have me think, "Wow, I love them, they're my favorite! Kudos to them!" I have Ginny's birthday taking place sometime in the winter, probably mid or late December. -EyesofNight

Disclaimer: I have to say, it all belongs to JKR. Man, I hate that genius! I take my religion seriously and lying is a venial sin so... sigh I take credit for none of this.... _Only in dreams..._

Ginny on her 13th birthday-

It's funny. I've waited and waited to be thirteen, finally a teenager, you know? And now it's just the same. I feel like I'm still twelve and nothing's different. Fred about forgot my birthday and he only remembered because (I _know _ this) Percy was behind me mouthing it and he'd found out 'cause mum sent him a letter reminding him. George remembered, but just barely. I think he remembered the day before yesterday though and that's better. Ron forgot entirely, even _with _all three of them behind me trying to tell him. Hermione remembered and gave me this really nice lip gloss/eye shadow set that I loved, this funny light pink muggle t-shirt that said 'cancel my subscription, I'm over your issues' which I thought was really funny but whose fitting Ron found inappropriate and a wonderful pair of earrings. Oh. And a journal. She made sure I understood what it was, journal not diary but I smiled and told her it was okay. And it was. Pretty much. You know, I'm not stupid. I realize not every diary has a memory of the most evil wizard alive preserved inside it to possess me with. It's just going to be hard to get back into the swing of writing in it without the fear of it writing back or making me blank out. Hermione was very generous to me in terms of gifts this year as you see but also in friendship. I think (no, know) that she's been feeling bad because she's thinking they've been neglecting me. I heard her talking to Ron. she said, 'Ron, do you think Ginny's been feeling a bit lonely lately?' and he said, (he wasn't listening much) 'Wha-? Oh, nah, I think she's fine... hey what's for dinner?' and she said, 'Ron, I'm serious! I think we really need to spend more time with her!' It was sweet of her to think but she could have kept her voice down. I was awfully red when Laura and James and the rest looked over at me, trying not to stare. I hope that's not why she's been so nice, though. Because she feels guilty. That's not a very good reason to be a friend of someone. I've told her some things. She smiled sadly when I told her how much I think about how stupid I was first year. She told me it wasn't my fault, I didn't have any control over it. Not the answer I was looking for. That's the sort of thing a friend tells you. But not a best friend. Which is something I lack. I'm not stupid. I know I have friends. I know I could have a best friend if I wanted. But I feel awfully awkward trying to talk to people sometimes. Some still flinch when they see me... Not many. But enough. Or maybe not. Maybe I'm paranoid. Maybe. I've always thought turning thirteen would be a real turning point in my life. I thought so much would change. It didn't. I thought things would start _happening _which they haven't, even if it _is _only the first day. I thought I'd feel different. I don't. I thought.. I thought.. I thought a lot. I thought a lot that didn't, that won't ever happen. I think too much.

It's snowing outside. It's really beautiful. I wish.. that I was snow. So delicate and beautiful and everyone loves it and so soft and unique. But... it gets trampled on and dirty and rolled on and played in. And it melts. It goes away and it doesn't end. It gets to be water and it dries up and eventually it gets to be snow again. And it's nice to know it's so definite. It knows what's going to happen to it. But...I don't want to know. I don't want the same thing to always happen. I don't want to dry up and then become the same I was. I wish I could fly... Fly on my _own, _not a broom. I could spirit away and not come back for a long, long time. I could fly high into the clouds without a fear and swoop down and have a lot of fun. But... I don't know how to land from flying on my own and if I did, I wouldn't want to come down but I couldn't stay forever up there and what would I do with myself? I wish... I wish I was sunshine. It brings light into everyone's day and it makes them happy and smile. It would be nice to bring such joy to people, I think, wouldn't it? But... when would _my_ sunshine come? and I'd always be so busy bringing sunshine to people that I wouldn't get a break and I'd be so tired... I wish... I wish I was not-so-confused.

I need to clear my head (or not. well I'll try). Wait... there. I just got up and put on the muggle CD player my daddy enchanted for me (I know it's babyish to still call him daddy but I love him a lot and anyway, I'm the youngest, much as it pains me to say, and the only girl and I think it might hurt his feelings if I stopped). Do you know Van Morrison? The songs are awfully good, especially "Brown Eyed Girl" which, as stupid as it sounds, always makes me cry because it's so sad that he has to remember all these wonderful, magical times and everything changed... I don't like change much. nor do I like things to stay the same. Mum says I'm a very mixed up girl which sounds pretty stupid to me because everyone's mixed up at some point and I'm sorry if I don't see everything in black and white. There is grey. Grey... Grey is my favorite colour. There's so much possibility. Admittedly, it's not the most attractive colour though some shades are nice but I like it more because of the way it makes me think. It seems to always be trying to tell me something and I just can't figure out what sometimes.

I've been forgotten again. I just realized that all the girls in my dormitory trooped through here and down to Hogsmeade without me. Not surprising. As I've said, I _do _have friends but Emma and Jacob and Sara are in Ravenclaw and patty's in Hufflepuff and Deirdre's in second year and Maura's in the hospital wing... or doing detention... or off on an adventure in the forest or in Snape's office or something... I can't ever keep up with her. Deirdre's nice but she _is _in second year which means she can't do some things, like go into Hogsmeade for instance, and well... it's just not the same, awful as that might sound. And I only got to be friends with her because she was getting yelled at by Snape when I passed by his room and she looked awfully scared so I knocked something over in the hall and made some comment to Snape so he let her go with only a snide remark under his breath as he rounded on me. Emma, Jacob and Sara are in my charms classes and Jacob was partner one day and we started joking with each other and he introduced me to the other two and we do our homework a lot in the library together. Patty knows Cedric quite well and he's in the tournament with Harry so we were both awfully scared during the first task and we had sat next to each other and we both kept shrieking when they were up so she smiled at me and asked me why was I so frightened and I said because I was worried about Harry and she smirked but that's not what I meant! It's just because he's my brother's friend... and he _is _awfully nice and quite funny and brave and I _do _get, as stupid as it sounds, flutters in my stomach when he talks to me even if he's just asking me for a quill or where is Ron or can he have the marmalade? Thing is, Patty always _does _seem to be right about things...

The task really was rather scary and I really am quite worried and nervous, because did you hear Hermione? There've been lots of deaths before and they say security's tightened but then again, Mr. Bagman is working on it and didn't you hear him at the Quidditch Cup talking about Bludgers in plain view of muggles? Honestly! But Bill and Charlie and Percy have been here and that makes me feel better because as annoying and boring as Percy is he's quite smart and he wouldn't let anybody die and Charlie's really an in-charge type of person and kind to everyone and he wouldn't take part in anything that could endanger others and Bill's really smart and funny and he's my favorite brother and his being here in itself is comforting. Bill's always paid me special attention, he used to babysit me all the time when I was little and he didn't want me to feel bad about being the only girl and he always protected me from Charlie's rough games and Percy's essence of boredom and the twin's hilariously frightening danger and Ron's general youngest-brother-displaced-sense-of-anger and sarcasm. But he always encouraged mum to let me do things they could at my age because he doesn't think it's fair for me to not do things that they could just because I'm the youngest and the only girl. That was quite nice of him. Though I used to be quite close to Ron, as well, when we grew up a little. And I still am (sort of). Only he got to be friends with Hermione and Harry now and that makes him not have as much time and it's kind of sad, don't you think? Anyway, I've thought quite enough for tonight and I'm getting quite tired. I think I'll go to sleep now.

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy biiiiirthday, dear Ginny, happy birthday to me.... You know, Mirror, if you don't mind me saying, you're quite a better listener than Tom was anyway.


End file.
